Category Archives: motherlode

In some ways, I’d be useful if you got stuck in an elevator

“Because that’s what happens when you elect politicians with no vision who are only interested in saving their jobs,“ I yelled at the television. “You’re doing it again,” said Pammy, quietly. “The people in the TV can’t hear you.” She’s … Continue reading

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I wrote this column while wearing pants. Honest

I refuse to have a camera set up on my computer. Friends say hey, let’s Skype and I say hey, let’s not. Having to care what I look like while I’m sitting here defeats the entire purpose of working at … Continue reading

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When you’re holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail

I have one son who is quite mechanically inclined. He can take something not working and intuitively figure out what is amiss. He can name all the kinds of tools. He doesn’t call things whatchamacallits or thingamajigs. My other son … Continue reading

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Complaints department: closed for 2015

When I ask someone how they are and they say they can’t complain, I mentally scratch my head. I can always complain. I look around me and see nothing but people complaining. Complaining drives reader traffic in our media, it … Continue reading

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A dictator with food issues; old cats and Lysol wipes

I am the owner of an aging pet. That feels like I’m standing up at an anonymous meeting, desperate to find out what 12 steps will bring peace to my household and sanity to my life. Maggie the Cat is … Continue reading

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“To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die” (Thomas Campbell)

Last year I didn’t put up a Christmas tree because everybody said they didn’t want to do it and they didn’t care. And then on Christmas Eve they all pouted. Imagine my surprise when Ari, 20, announced he would be … Continue reading

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Telling Houston to solve its own problem

“We have a problem,” the giant standing next to my bed was whispering. Well, as much as a giant can whisper. I squinted at my clock. 12:45 am. I quickly surmised that we didn’t have a problem so much as … Continue reading

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Greater living through pharmaceuticals, and helpful cats

It was just after midnight and I was peering under my bed hunting for a very tiny pill. It’s a sleeping pill, and I dropped it. I have a very large bed and a hardwood floor. When something gets dropped, … Continue reading

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Worrying about our next door neighbours. In Buffalo.

I felt terrible when all that snow fell on Buffalo, New York recently. I don’t actually know anyone who lives there anymore, but for a great deal of my life, Buffalo seemed closer than Toronto. The cartoons of my childhood … Continue reading

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Be one of somebody’s good people

I began my fall cleanup because I saw snow. The huge maple tree out front has finally taken leave of its leaves, so the boys have been dispatched to do the raking. Ari asked if the tree was finally empty. … Continue reading

Posted in motherlode | 10 Comments