Author Archives: Lorraine

One of Mama Lorraine’s proudest moments

Christopher and I were sitting in a convocation hall filled with people, all proudly watching their loved ones receive degrees. It was noisy and busy, but when I saw his girlfriend Pammy, 23, enter the hall in her graduation robe, … Continue reading

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Forget the Smartie Philosophy: Eat the red ones first

My Mom’s mother died when she – my grandmother – was just 54; it was before I was born, but I remember Mom telling me she lived life up until her own 54th birthday with her breath slightly held. Crossing … Continue reading

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Forget seven stages of grief. There’s only one: I miss you

“I think I missed the Maggie column, can you tell me when it ran?” This email flipped across my laptop while I was out of the country for work. I’d just finished getting dressed for dinner and was trying not … Continue reading

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I used to laugh at Dad for never throwing anything away. Not anymore

I glanced through the back window in time to see dinner being cremated. “I thought one of you was keeping an eye on the barbecue!” I yelled. “I just checked it. It was fine,” said Christopher. I opened the lid … Continue reading

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Unless Noah is on, I’m doomed

Christopher’s girlfriend, Pammy, 23, has wanted a dog her entire life. She’s lived with us for four years and I’ve never felt obligated to indulge her childhood yearnings because I always wanted a pogo stick and I got one and … Continue reading

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Food is the way to my heart… as long as I know what it is

Pammy wanted to make guacamole the other day. I do not do this, but I am not averse to things like this taking place in my kitchen. “Where’s the avocados?” she asked. A reasonable thing. I looked at her blankly. … Continue reading

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Snips and snails and puppy dog tails.. what is cat food made of?

You may have noticed that pet food is no longer just pet food. When we had our first cat 35 years ago, my mom plunked a bag of cat food into the cart at No Frills and that was that. … Continue reading

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Fear and loathing in the new sex-ed curriculum

Your kids are being taught health education from a curriculum that was created before there was likely a computer in your kitchen. OK, I’ll say “sex ed” so the hat chewers can get to it. Since the last update in … Continue reading

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Unbelievably, Motherlode gets romanced by… a dog

About six months ago, Ari, 20 started dating Taryn, also 20. I was allowed to meet her, which in our household means only one thing: she’s been warned. Over the years, I’d wondered when my sons might start dating. It … Continue reading

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Two floods and a flat. Catastrophe? No, Tuesday

On a recent Tuesday morning, I sat staring blankly at my computer monitor willing words to erupt for two different noon deadlines. They were not erupting. Pammy, 23, wandered bleary-eyed into the kitchen. She is in the homestretch of her … Continue reading

Posted in motherlode | 5 Comments