Author Archives: Lorraine

Telling Houston to solve its own problem

“We have a problem,” the giant standing next to my bed was whispering. Well, as much as a giant can whisper. I squinted at my clock. 12:45 am. I quickly surmised that we didn’t have a problem so much as … Continue reading

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Greater living through pharmaceuticals, and helpful cats

It was just after midnight and I was peering under my bed hunting for a very tiny pill. It’s a sleeping pill, and I dropped it. I have a very large bed and a hardwood floor. When something gets dropped, … Continue reading

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Worrying about our next door neighbours. In Buffalo.

I felt terrible when all that snow fell on Buffalo, New York recently. I don’t actually know anyone who lives there anymore, but for a great deal of my life, Buffalo seemed closer than Toronto. The cartoons of my childhood … Continue reading

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Be one of somebody’s good people

I began my fall cleanup because I saw snow. The huge maple tree out front has finally taken leave of its leaves, so the boys have been dispatched to do the raking. Ari asked if the tree was finally empty. … Continue reading

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Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys

I found a man in Oatman, Arizona, who sang me a song as he sat on the deck of the Oatman Hotel. Oatman is a tourist trap, a corny dusty street lined with places with names like Jackass Junction and … Continue reading

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Sexual assault builds its own prisons – for the victims

Jian Gomeshi is finally the household name he already fancied himself to be, but for all the wrong reasons. As I write this, nine women have come forward relating their nightmares of being choked and punched by the man while … Continue reading

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Would you want to know what your genes predict?

I went to a psychic once. For $100 (ask the twenty-something me, not the me before you), I learned lots of benign things that made for good dinner conversation in the following years. Now for just twice that amount, I … Continue reading

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Yoga: quiet time with my to-do list

I have never taken a yoga class in my life. I always believed I would be too loud, too impatient, too snarky to channel my inner Zen while folding myself like a piece of origami. Sometimes you have to slough … Continue reading

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Can’t get your kid off their phone? It’s your fault

Tired of only seeing the top of your kid’s head every time you’re at the dinner table or in the car? Wondering what text conversation could possibly be more important than a family dinner or some one-on-time with Mom or … Continue reading

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I’m not moody, I’m just thinking

I am mulling. It’s become a lost art. If you publish something about anything, you have to do it immediately, before someone beats you to it. People who write about TV or film have to write before they’ve even watched … Continue reading

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