Author Archives: Lorraine

Hello from the other side: remember party lines?

“The fly-around Internet is dead,” I yelled, needlessly. That’s what I call the magic that makes my computer work. Nothing would connect. I checked the little light up box and saw just two of eight tiny lights blinking back at … Continue reading

Posted in motherlode | 3 Comments

When the secret ingredient doesn’t work as planned

I don’t cook often because I don’t do it well, and nobody around here can be bothered to lie about it. If my mother tried a disappointing new recipe, my sisters and I would politely say it was good while … Continue reading

Posted in motherlode | 7 Comments

When you’re not sure if you’re keeping something in, or out

You’ve probably heard that Steven Wright joke in which he wonders why 7-11s have locks on their doors if they’re open 24 hours a day. I live within many Steven Wright musings, actually, where you ponder the odd and laugh … Continue reading

Posted in motherlode | 2 Comments

If I had a million dollars…I’d still need a quarter at No Frills

“We’re trying to decide how we’d spend the money,” said Ari, 21, his girlfriend Taryn smiling beside him. “The pot’s at something ridiculous like $50 million. Can you imagine?” I can’t, but I think it’s worth ten bucks for the … Continue reading

Posted in motherlode | 6 Comments

It is not sexist to call Justin Trudeau hot

Justin Trudeau is nice to look at. So what? Everybody screaming “objectification” needs to stop comparing the recent high pitched swooning over our new Prime Minister to the actual treatment a woman in his place would be receiving. There are … Continue reading

Posted in motherlode | 1 Comment

Wherever you go, there you are: kids are always kids

On a recent trek through a remote part of Mexico on a road comprised of switchbacks and rockslides, I was busy focusing on not pitching over the side of mountain to a sudden – though picturesque – death. We finally … Continue reading

Posted in motherlode | 1 Comment

If you date a woman with cats, here’s what to expect

It is a fairly well known fact that I have four cats. It is also fairly well known that I am single. A colleague of mine recently pointed out the fact that those four cats did not bode well for … Continue reading

Posted in motherlode | 3 Comments

The problem isn’t with kids today; it’s with us

I overheard a dismissive “kids today” conversation by mistake the other day. Well, I suppose I could have stopped overhearing, but I didn’t. There is a certain rubber stamped judgment that seems to set in for some people that makes … Continue reading

Posted in motherlode | 6 Comments

It was an awful lot of work for five tomatoes

Weeds rush in where tomatoes fear to flourish, it would seem. This year’s garden has been a dismal failure. When I was seven, I planted four apple seeds about four inches apart. I assured Dad I would move them before … Continue reading

Posted in motherlode | 5 Comments

Lightening the Motherlode; two kids move out

When I say to friends it would be lovely to have an empty house, they all shake their head sadly and tell me to be careful what I wish for. “You’ll miss them when they’re gone, and it happens so … Continue reading

Posted in motherlode | 4 Comments