- Colonoscopy prep: turning inside out, fast
- When the natural look just isn’t cutting it anymore
- When having half a tail means you won the fight
- We may get the government we deserve, but who really deserves this?
- That heart stopping moment when you realize you didn’t brush your teeth
- Freemasons and The Flintstones: At least one didn’t lie to me
- My concentration is fine, thank….hey look, a squirrel!
- Message received, perfectly loud and unfortunately clear.
- Ask a toddler how safe a handgun is
- In some ways, I’d be useful if you got stuck in an elevator
Author Archives: Lorraine
“This is the GI Health Centre calling, is Lorraine Sommerfeld there please?” “I’m sorry, she’s out of town just now,” I replied. I delayed a colonoscopy for over a year. I’d been dreading the rotorooter part; I should have been … Continue reading
Three times Pammy has asked me to go with her to get a manicure. Three times I’ve said yes. And three times I’ve found a reason not to go Pammy has been dating my son for 5 years. She is … Continue reading
Spring got here overnight. It happens inside at the same time it happens outside; we have two new kittens and they discovered squirrels at the same time the squirrels discovered tossed bread that didn’t immediately disappear beneath a new wave … Continue reading
If you follow American politics, and you really should, you might have seen the latest from one of their elected officials, Nevada assemblywoman Michele Fiore. I don’t really have to put the “R” after her name. You’ll see why in … Continue reading
I was halfway between home and my destination, already running late, when I realized I hadn’t brushed my teeth. I don’t think this has ever happened before. Brushing my teeth is the second thing I do every day when I … Continue reading
As I tried to stuff Christmas decorations back in the little cold room in the basement, I saw a small box that was familiar. Opening it, I discovered a trove of pins and a tiny book. I recognized it all; … Continue reading
I had intended to write a column about the anti-vaccinators shoving their children into a time capsule back to the 1800s, but I realized I have a word count and can’t just write “stupid” 600 times. Instead, I will use … Continue reading
I sat in my sister Roz’s kitchen, scrolling through my phone to show her the running stand-up routine that is formed by my son Ari’s texts. Since he got his full licence, the theme is very much all about asking … Continue reading
I head home late on Tuesday nights from Toronto, and listen to quiet radio. I’ve found one with John Tesh (stop judging) pretending to be hosting a multitude of stations, including this Canadian one. That man must spend half his … Continue reading
“Because that’s what happens when you elect politicians with no vision who are only interested in saving their jobs,“ I yelled at the television. “You’re doing it again,” said Pammy, quietly. “The people in the TV can’t hear you.” She’s … Continue reading