When our internet craps out, I stare blankly at my computer, then yell for one of the boys. It is their job to get it fixed. This happens too often, but internet providers are the one area in life where nobody you know says, “you have use the company I do! They’re awesome!” None of them are awesome. We spend hundreds of dollars for invisible things that work the way I do: sporadically.
We have computers all over the house and a connection that allows them all work from one source. The upside of this is when one goes out, they all go out. If nobody is listening to me call them for dinner, I simply unhook something in the back, and they all come running to the kitchen to report that the internet is out. I smile innocently and slap the pork chops on the table.
When the problem is bigger than me unplugging and replugging something, I hand the phone to one of the boys to make the call. They hate doing it to, but we all know at some point in that conversation the technician on the other end is going to use a term I don’t understand. If I talk to the technician, there will be tears and swearing, and I won’t be very happy either.
When Christopher, 21, bought me an iPad last year, the boys had to patiently explain to me how the magic of the internet could make the device work when it wasn’t even hooked up to anything.
“We have a wireless network; you don’t need wires for your iPad to work, or your cell phone,” said Ari, 18.
“But my computer has to be plugged in to work. And wait! My iPad works in hotels and airports! How does it know?”
“Mom, it’s wireless. The signal is there, and your devices recognize the signal and ask to log on. If you have the password, you’ll be allowed onto the network.”
“So, it’s like fly around internet?” I asked.
“What? ‘Fly around internet’? Are you nuts?” asked Ari. He exchanged glances with Christopher, who just solemnly nodded.
“Okay, yeah, just like that. Fly around internet,” said Ari, resigned. I may be slow, but eventually I get there.
A few days ago error messages were popping up onto my computer screen. I hollered for Ari, who was already on his way down.
“DON’T touch it,” he said. I backed away. My computer tower and the little boxes on it are tucked into a corner of the kitchen. Getting to the connections requires Gumby arms and night vision goggles, not to mention a dust mask. Ari deftly poked something, and the lights on the boxes went out.
“Now, just don’t touch it.” He left the room. I immediately went to my keyboard and hit some buttons.
“It’s still not working!” I hollered.
“I told you to wait,” he hollered back.
“But the little lights are all back on,” I told him as he came down again. He glanced at both boxes.
“Look. You have to wait. It needs a few minutes to reset. It’s, it’s, I know. You have to preheat the fly around internet,” he finished. I could hear Christopher laughing in the next room.
I was happy with this explanation. Until I heard Ari later talking to his friends.
“She calls it fly around internet. I had to explain that resetting it was like preheating an oven. If we move out, she’s doomed,” he told them.
I’ll take that chance.
“Internet providers,” “Customer Service;” two definitive oxymorons. I have all my phone, cell, TV, and Internet stuff with Bell. God help you if you have to change anything. It means at least two one half hour phone calls and probably another follow-up to fix what you didn’t want. It took me one year to get my name on the call identification after my partner left. My “Turbo Stick” for the internet is slow, but I don’t dare change it or I may never communicate with the outside world again. All for only ~$200 a month. Don’t worry about the boys leaving, they’ll be back for the “dine and wash” on a regular basis.
An ex girl friend would hand me the phone to talk to technical support as i could cheerfully admit that i had no clue what i was doing and had the patience she lacked . At the time i didn’t own a computer , didn’t have an email address and could barely access youtube . Her preteen knew more than both of us put together . As an aside if apple asks anyone to upgrade to ios6.1.2 DON”T DO IT ! I did and now keep randomly losing service . From 3 or 4 bars on my basic phone my “smart” phone sits at 1 bar and bounces between no service and 2 bars . 599 dollar paper weight . I shall phone technical services again tonight from a friends land line .
When our computer goes out, I just sit with a little tear rolling down my face and eventually my daughter clues in that I haven’t been swearing at the screen in a while and will look over to see what I’ve buggered up and come over to fix it. She has completely given up trying to explain to me how the whole “wireless” thing works. She just fixes what needs to be fixed, pats me on the head, and goes back to what she was doing. As for Bell? Don’t get me started.
I’ve had good luck with Cogeco . Bell and rogers , suck to be polite .
Do they suck to be polite, or do they just suck?
Heh, heh…
They suck and they’re not polite!
There is nothing polite about sucking….no matter how you do it.
You should at least get a “thank you”. That counts somewhat as being polite.
Lmao , they suck but not in the happy OMG !!! way .
And once again, a whole chain of letters devolves….
Lorraine
Do you ever feel like you have no control over your website. Wow, over 40 replies for a sprained arse, and now people off on a tangent. It doesn’t take much to get this crew going.
Admit it: you love us.
No control whatsoever. I was talking about it to someone earlier today. That all I have to do is toss down a headline and leave the room.
It’s like when my kids have a party when I’m out of town.
With less beer cans.
See I tried to be PC for CBNTF and it turned into a (fun)train wreck , lol ,
When I moved to Ottawa about 10 years ago, I was forced to change my internet provider as I had been using a small local service in my previous location. I called all the providers in the area, got info, rates, etc and eventually chose Rogers. When I got my first bill, it was loaded with all sorts of extra charges that I had never been made aware of or agreed to. I called them and asked the customer service rep what the heck was going? How the heck did I go from the amount I was quoted to around double what I expected to pay? The rep started to explain these charges to me, indicating it was stardard with the package I had purchased and there was nothing she could do. I was not appreciating her rather superior attitude and asked for a supervisor. I went through the same song and dance. I stated that these charges had never been explained to me and that I refused to pay for something I never agreed to. The supervisor then put on the superior tone stating “well you should have been aware of what the conditions and charges to the package were – they are all posted on the internet.” When I pointed out the obvious, I actually ended up with a big discount that lasted a year. Rogers has really made it worth my while to complain loudly when necessary.
I was at Cogeco one day, back when you still had to go to their building and they weren’t in the mall yet.
I was exchanging yet another crapped out PVR, when the guy next to me got to the counter. He had moved into a new house, had his service connected and just got his first bill. He was livid and very dryly stated “this bill is more than my mortgage payment”
I had to laugh, I know it wasn’t nice, but the way he said it was just too funny.
He didn’t think it was funny at all.
I got a gorgeous invitation type thing in the mail yesterday ‘inviting’ me to switch to Bell and get Fibe for a year blah, blah, blah and it will save me $500 over the first year.
I guess after that the hammer comes down and you have to pay the real price, which of course must be $500 more. I don’t know it would be worth the aggravation to even attempt to change. Cogeco isn’t my favorite but I have very little problem with my phone, internet and cable, so I think I’ll stay put.
Cogeco’s customer service is far better than Bells . I’m on my second PVR . If your PVR acts up , gets no service , or doesn’t record properly , you don’t have to call cogeco and do the phone dance . You can do a ” manual restart ” said the cogeco technician ….. unplug the PVR for a few minutes and then plug it back in and it reboots . The Guide takes a bit longer to restart but the PVR should work again .
Ahh Cogeco…Been an unwilling customer of theirs for many years ever since they bought out my local cable company of which I was also an unwilling customer. I live in an apartment in a heritage building and my landlady won’t consent to me putting up a dish or an OTA antenna.
Their service is much better than Bell though even though their channel selection is not quite as good as Rogers/Shaw.
I have Cogeco. I’ve had Bell. We can’t get Rogers. I’ve run out of threats I can yell into the phone.
I may not have the oldest email address still active in Ontario, but I’ll bet I’m well up the list. It’s because my ISP is a little one-man outfit I joined when I was using Windows 3.1 on a 386-16 with Netscape on dial-up. The proprietor answers the phone promptly, if you have to leave a message phones back promptly any hour of the day or night. He answers any questions and helps with, well, almost anything, too. And his prices are hotly competitive and sometimes better. Price, service and the extra mile – I’ve sent many friends and all my family to him with all being satisfied well. Moral: think small!
I get my landline phone with DSL from Bell, which I wouldn’t if they had any real competition besides in the race to the bottom in service and top in price. But I use Yak for long distance which offers major savings. My first cellphone was from Cantel back when there was real competition in wireless and when Rogers took them over the contract was grandfathered. If I ever need service I will likely look elsewhere. There may be someone small enough to want my trade somewhere.
I use satellite from Shaw, who are no more abusive in pricing than their competitors. They have the saving grace that they answer the phone promptly but then throw in a lot of hold time to advertise at you. But when they condescend to answer their call centre people are knowledgeable, courteous, cooperative and speak proper Canadian English. Again, they’re the small guys who try harder.
It’s not that I haven’t had my moments with service people – I will certainly never buy any Toshiba product again, for example – but generally I’ve found the best service in the smaller shops with the proprietor on hand. It’s impossibly awkward with laptops, but maybe letting Ari specify what the neighbourhood hole-in-the-wall computer emporium should assumble for you as a desktop might pay.