Gas prices may continue to climb, but with airlines playing their usual three card Monte with what the actual exorbitant price will end up being, families are still taking to the open road to stay connected with far flung family or even just one last haul before the kids get too old. Whether you’re camping or booking into a Ritz, everybody is out of their usual comfort zones, but remember: you are building memories to embarrass each other with for a lifetime.

It’s a delicate balance, bringing several people together in one tiny space for an extended period of time. Not only are interests going to vary wildly predicated by age and attention span, the road trip captains in the front seat are going to have to also keep road safety at the front of their minds.

All the usual reminders still apply: have a real map as well as your navigation system if you use one, stop often to avoid driver fatigue, keep pent up kids occupied and entertained, bring along way more money than you think you’ll need, tune up the car a week or more before you head out, and expect the unexpected. If you’ve never travelled much before, ask a road warrior for some pointers.

The checklist for a trip by car is necessary and long. It’s tough to plan for every eventuality while still recognizing that the best laid plans of mice and men still sometimes end up with a dead mouse. The best thing you can bring along? An open mind, a sense of adventure and a lot of wet wipes.

If you’re planning a week or two on the road this year, consider a variation on the usual Point A to Point B trek: make the journey part of the goal, and think about occasionally selecting the road less travelled. A road trip is about far more than pavement and drive throughs; consider the history, the geography and the culture that is yours for the taking, if you take the time to grab it.

Dave Hunter has been writing a book called Along Interstate 75 for 17 years.The most direct vector to Florida from central Ontario and Detroit, Hunter and his wife have painstakingly mapped out every inch of this route; they have checked out every restaurant and museum and attraction. Updated annually, points of interest, historical facts, local lore and regional gossip are woven throughout. You can find out where in Georgia you should stop for homemade jams and jellies; where in Kentucky to look for Barn Quilts; where Kit Carson was born; the best area for wildflowers in Tennessee; speed traps; gas stations; lodgings. Every exit fully expounded upon, every phone number and price and contact information (often, simply, “ask for Diane”) compiled for a virtuoso performance of travel.

Where Hunter has produced a clear and concise manual that will ensure you will never get lost, Mark Richardson has produced a different kind of travel book, Canada’s Road. Tracing the Trans-Canada Highway from St. John’s to Victoria, it’s a definitive study of how this enduring symbol of Canada came into being. Swirling the historical foundations of the road with its current incarnation, Richardson digs into the best trove of information for a road trip: the people. Studded with the stories of how we got from there to here, Richardson goes back to 1912 to the first cross Canada trek carried out, and soaks up the stories of locals along the way who were often witnesses, if not midwives, to the birth of this national icon. In both books, history bursts to life by realizing we haven’t really been here that long, and for North Americans, at least, we are frequently defined by our ability to wander from one coast to another.

Take a leaf from these two books as you head out. In an era where everybody has a camera if not a video, make your own record of your trip. Encourage your kids to be more than seatbelt hostages, and let them make the trip into what they want. It’s easy to pick a theme – wildlife, flags, cyclists, best road names, worst spellings – and remind them as the road unravels beneath the wheels, we have the option to passively let it fly by, or engage.

As youngsters, our meal-on-the-go was a butter rum Life Saver, and the entertainment was the landscape flying by the window. For the kid in the middle, the view was the same but with someone’s head in the way. Drinks were handed out judiciously from a thermos, because any overloaded bladder meant more stops, and more stops meant not making good time.

In the high heat of a summer day when air conditioning was a frill for other people, ice cream was the reward on a Sunday drive. It was the carrot to prevent fighting or whining or someone taking up more than her allotted share of the bench seat by spreading her fingers wide or smoothing her dress across the boundary. I think that’s why kids get bored in their ear-phoned, captain’s chair world: they can’t hear a sibling singing It’s a Small World After All just under their breath to irritate the other (“make her stop!”), and trip- long battles to establish territory while the kid on the hump in the middle is yelling “time to change!” are no longer needed.

Technically speaking, ice cream cones produce no garbage. My father couldn’t have been protecting the precious plastic interiors of his station wagons; I still have the Hudson’s Bay blanket my mother would put down on the seat, because bought and paid for plastic was still more valuable than borrowed-money velour, or my personal favourite, Corinthian leather. Somehow, hearing Ricardo Montelban roll those words off his tongue made me want to run out and buy a Chrysler Cordoba, even though I was only 11. My mother agreed; my father did not.

My sisters and I would stand at the Dairy Queen window, scanning the menu board before ordering the same thing: chocolate dipped cones. In the time it took them to draw the ice cream, cover them in chocolate and pass them through to waiting hands, my father would eat his plain vanilla cone in three bites. He would head back for the car as my mother tried to buy us time, knowing you can rush many things but you can’t rush a child with a chocolate dipped ice cream cone.

Inevitably, long before we were ready, we’d pile back in, the heat already sending sticky tendrils of ice cream down the sides of the cone. Mom would hand back Kleenex and urge us to hurry up; instead, we’d carefully pull off large sections of hardened chocolate, comparing our talent at this unique skill as Dad kept glancing in the rear view mirror knowing all the Kleenex in the world wouldn’t be helping this at all. So much for no garbage.

We weren’t allowed to get pointy cones in the car, after the first time we were caught nibbling out the bottom of the cone like mice. It seemed like such a good idea at the time, this competition to see who could eat their ice cream upside down. It wasn’t, but it did make me understand that when children have only one thing to focus on, especially in a car, they will become creative geniuses. There is more than one way to eat ice cream, and there is more than one way to pinch your sister.

Cars are not meant for food. Cars are where worse case scenarios play out, especially for children. Occasionally we’d get doughnuts, an experience that had to include as many moving parts as possible. A single bite into a sprinkle covered donut would send shards of toppings to the floor, while someone else was shooting strawberry jam out of another one. My father would down something horrible like a Dutchie in twenty seconds, as tidy and controlled as the one who has to do the clean up usually is. Children don’t order Dutchies; children order peanut covered mess machines.

My parents had bought some silence when the back seat was munching away, and there were far more apples than ice cream; looking back, I realize my mother spent half of her life turned sideways in the front seat, hand outstretched for whatever nasty debris we handed to her.

Today, we eat in our cars as a matter of course, from coffee to snacks to meals. My kids have never considered it the treat that we did, though more than once I’ve pulled a roll of butter rum Life Savers out of the glove box.

They may hide their smiles when I mention what a big deal this was in the dark ages when I was small, but they never turn them down.

While your car can be a safe place, it is the enclosed metal frame of the car that is doing the protecting, not the tires. While the car itself is completing the electrical circuit you will be kept safe, but electronics in the car may be fried. Should you touch anything metal inside the car, you may become part of that deadly circuit. A convertible roof doesn’t provide the same protection as a hard top.

Power outages are common when the weather goes haywire, but a lack of electricity to buildings masks the fact that those wires, either from transmission lines (most common pole- type) or distribution lines (those large ones with taller shoulders and legs), might still be live. All could be on automatic switches, so all should be considered live at all times.

Burlington Fire Chief Tony Bavota notes you should also treat all types of lines dangerous, as cable and fibre optic lines are often sharing poles with hydro lines; to an untrained eye it can be difficult to tell the difference, and they could be jumbled together.

You’re heading into the cottage after a storm, and a line is down across the road. Can you drive over it? No. According to Constable Clinton Stibbe of Toronto Police Service, a downed line or any obstacle, such as sinkholes or deep water, should be avoided. Pull to safety, turn around if you can, or back up. Never cross a downed wired; report it immediately.

Nancy Shaddick, Communications Officer for Hydro One reminds you to stay 10 metres back from any downed wire. Electrical charges can spread from the point of contact – the same way you’re in danger even at a distance from where lightning strikes the ground, that wire has a circumference of danger around it. Water is an excellent conductor of electricity, meaning large puddles or lakes or even wet ground can intensify that threat.

I asked all three experts to consider the following scenario: you’re in your car, when due to a crash or a natural disaster you have a live hydro line across or under your vehicle.

• Do not get out of the car.
• Do not touch any metal part of the car.
• It is safe to use your cell phone to call for help – call 911 and wait for first responders and hydro technicians.

What if you come across this situation? “No one should attempt to get a person out of a vehicle if there is any chance no matter how small that the wires may be live. Emergency personnel are equipped to deal with these situations and anyone attempting to get someone out of a vehicle could put themselves and emergency personnel at risk,” says Stibbe. Warn your would-be rescuers to stay back from the car. Anyone touching the vehicle could be electrocuted as the charge currently being grounded by the car now exits through them.

Bavota agrees, noting that even in the event of a fire, firefighters are trained to handle the rescue by first knocking back fire from a Class C electrical to a Class A battled with water. Two very different approaches requiring the coordination of utility workers, firefighters and police.

Recent extreme weather near Lindsay, Ontario created this condition for a handful of drivers. They did the right thing, staying in their cars until wires were safely removed. Seem anticlimactic? Consider the scene last August in California when an SUV crashed into a hydrant and knocked down a hydro wire. A 41-year-old woman dashed towards the driver to help him, and was electrocuted as she hit the water. Another went to help the woman, only to suffer the same fate. With no fire or other evidence of danger, it took witnesses time to understand what was happening and yelling at would-be rescuers turned the scene into deadly confusion.

In all, 8 people were injured, one man in intensive care with electrical exit wounds on his feet when he tried to rescue one of the original women. The driver suffered only minor injuries from the initial crash; the safest place to be was inside that SUV.

Bavota stresses that getting out of the car should be considered only as a last ditch effort; the circumstance you want to avoid at all costs. But, what if? What if you’ve decided this is your only chance to survive? How do you get out of an electrified vehicle?

According to the Electrical Safety Authority be prepared to limber up. You must jump clear without touching any part of the car as you exit. You must land on both feet and not stumble. You must then shuffle away from the car, inching your feet so that neither loses contact with the ground. Walking normally or running would create a break, allowing the electrical current to circuit through you.

While the shuffle walk is good to remember for any situation involving downed wires or lightning, it’s best to avoid having to put it into practice. Remind your kids as summer approaches that the threat of lightning is real, and often underestimated. Trees and park shelters aren’t safe refuge. Buildings that have metal eaves and downspouts or plumbing and wiring may provide a path for a lightning hit to be grounded, but anything directly wired – telephone landlines, desktop computers – is a danger.

Scary news images are a good reminder to be prepared for anything. You never know.

Tips on hydro safety

Tips on lightning

It’s easy to recognize deal breakers in most parts of your life: I won’t date smokers, I won’t buy a house full of asbestos, I won’t show you my gas bill if you’re on my front step, and I won’t click here to lose belly fat.

But what about in a car? When you’re standing there sorting through the minutia of instigating – or finalizing – a car purchase, is there anything that will kill that sale?

There is for me.

• Headlight indicator: there has to be an auto setting so the rear lights come on with the headlights; if only the daytime running lights are on, the instrument cluster has to remain unlit so I’m aware I’m invisible from the back. Manufacturers can refuse to make this fix, but I can refuse to buy their car.
• Fuel door release: If I have to open the car door to access it, forget it. And if I have to lean way down, that’s another strike. I’m fairly tall; what about my shorter friends? Better yet? No fuel door release; I’d rather just push on the door and have it flip open.
• Run flat tires: no thank you. From higher cost to rougher ride to shorter wear, this is a feature I won’t be signing up for. I want a spare.
• Rear seats: if usable cargo space is a notable part of this vehicle, I want those seats to fold flat. I don’t want them on an angle, and I want headrests that tuck in so I can achieve this without running around the car for ten minutes playing Tetrus.
• Windshield wipers: I once had a car with deeply recessed wiper blades. Never again. Trying to get ice and snow out of there was like digging for buried treasure, but without the treasure.
• Communications: while navigation systems can run the cost up depending on which package they’re tucked into, the lack of a handsfree phone feature is a deal killer. Most entry level cars have this now, and it’s a safety feature more than a frill.
• Fuel efficiency indicator: I want a setting for current as well as overall efficiency. Keeping an eye on that litre/100km readout can change the way you drive, and keep you more in tune with your car’s performance under various conditions.
• Lane change indicator: once the province of just the pricier end of the range, a two part signal system on many cars now allows a lighter tough to produce three flashes of your indicator, which then shuts off. Long enough to signal a lane change, and does away with FSS – forgotten signal syndrome.
• Steering wheel controls: radio controls, phone controls, cruise control. It all has to be on the steering wheel. You can create all the fancy-ass touch screens you want, but if the driver is leaning over to try to jam in information while they drive, it means their eyes and their hands (not to mention their brains) are not where they need to be.
• A rear middle seat that would hold a leprechaun. Don’t call yourself a five seater if the fifth person has to be big enough to be out of a carseat but still orders off the kid’s menu.

Not quite a deal breaker, but getting close:

• Fuel cap: I’m in love with Ford’s new no-cap feature. No more trying to undo a cap my stronger son has tightened, no more having a fuel cap bounce away because the tether is broken.
• Lane indicator warning: I believe this will soon be standard on most cars, much like ABS and stability control have become. I still call it text assist, but as arguments to confront the appalling state of what we call driver training fail, I’ll take what I can get.

Never-gonna-happen-but-I-can-dream:

• A sensor that knows that a bag of groceries has slumped against the rear hatch, and tells me a can of tomatoes is about to fall on my foot. Again.
• Somewhere to put my purse.
• A touch screen that repels fingerprints as it maintains its visibility in bright sunlight.
• Voice activated anything that works without being yelled at repeatedly.

We’re spoiled. Cars are travelling entertainment systems, but they also have extremely sophisticated safety features. Buyers are more informed than ever before, and manufacturers no longer have long lead times to introduce anything; there are few secrets anymore. I can’t use a crystal ball to see how a car I’m considering buying will be in three years, or five (I consider that the downside to car reviews, too), but I can certainly cull the herd of considerations right there in the showroom.

Cars cost a lot of money. Even “cheap” cars cost a lot of money. The last thing you want to experience is that gut punch feeling that there is something wrong. Something very, very wrong.

One of the top three must-haves on the list of every car purchaser is reliability. I don’t know a single person who has ever decided that reliability is a distant thought. Repeated problems with your car throw that reliability out the window.

So is your car a lemon? Are you being unreasonable? Is the manufacturer? Who decides? In Canada, if you’ve failed to get a satisfactory outcome, you can bring your case to CAMVAP. Canadian Motor Vehicle Arbitration Plan. CAMVAP is funded by the automotive industry, but their policy board is comprised of 2 representatives from the Consumer’s Association of Canada, 4 from government, and 5 from the auto industry. The board has no direct involvement with arbitration.

Arbitrators (there are 80 across the country; CAMVAP serves you close to your home) hear your case, the manufacturers case, ask questions, views the car (or goes for a drive if it’s pertinent) and make a decision. They can dismiss your claim; they can order more repairs; they can award you for costs you’ve already incurred, associated expenses you’ve racked up (to a $500 ceiling), or order the manufacturer to buy back your car. CAMVAP boasts positive outcomes for 70% of consumers.

In 2012 CAMVAP held 203 arbitrated case. 61 resulted in buybacks- 30%. Their comprehensive website (www.CAMVAP.ca) shows the outcome of each case; you can discover the make and model, the complaint, and the outcome. The program is free to consumers, and it’s fast: outcomes are reached in an average of 51 days. Small claims court could take a year.

It’s important to remember that a CAMVAP arbitration is like a court, however. You need to be prepared. Witnesses – those people who have experienced your car abruptly stopping in the middle of the highway, perhaps – can make a case stronger. Have your records complete and detailed. Have notes of whom you’ve spoken to, and when. Be able to show you’ve been reasonable, and that you’ve given the manufacturer a chance (or several) to make things right.

As always with statistics, CAMVAP’s numbers can be interpreted in several ways. There are trends that can’t be ignored: Chrysler has a 40% buyback rate, which is disturbing no matter how many vehicles they sell. According to CAMVAP General Manager Stephen Moody, most manufacturers definitely want to resolve problems before it gets to arbitration. “We’re seeing a decrease in cases. Manufacturers are making better cars, and they are resolving problems earlier. There were 85 repair orders in 2011, a number that went to 43 in 2012.”

There is some fine print, of course. Vehicles over 60,000km or in use over 36 months can’t be bought back. If you have a problem, get on it fast. Vehicles with fewer than 25,000km and one year old will get close to their original cost in the event of a buyback, says Moody. CAMVAP has a calculator on their site that makes things transparent.

Is CAMVAP for you? Your purchased or leased car must be of the current model year or within the previous four; it must have less than 160,000km on it; you must be contesting a manufacturing defect or feel the manufacturer is not honouring the new vehicle warranty; you must accept the arbitration’s outcome; your car must be a product of the participating manufacturers.

That’s actually kind of interesting, that last point. The following companies don’t participate in the CAMVAP program: BMW, Mini, Mitsubishi, Ferrari, and Lamborghini. While I’m guessing the last two categories can fend for themselves, it might be good for buyers to ask more about this when they go to purchase from those who choose to exclude themselves.

Consumers with problem vehicles typically fall into three categories: I’ve spent money I shouldn’t have had to spend, and I want it back; my vehicle still hasn’t been fixed and I’ve given the manufacturer every chance to do so; get this thing out of my driveway and give me my money back.

I asked Moody a basic question: if I feel I have a lemon, perhaps a car that has had transmission problems and broken down repeatedly, even if they keep fixing it or replacing the transmission, I no longer trust the vehicle. A CAMVAP hearing that resulted in yet another ordered repair would be considered a win by CAMVAP; I would not consider that a win. My lost faith can’t be measured, nor recompensed.

“Many people aren’t looking for buybacks,” Moody said. “You’d be surprised at how many people just want something fixed correctly.” I would be. By the time I got to a hearing over repeated vehicle failures, I’d be looking for only one thing.

Vehicles that have been bought back can also end up back on the market. They get repaired (I thought they couldn’t be repaired?!) and sold. A Carproof report will reveal this; CAMVAP’s site also has a place you can run a VIN number to check.

What’s missing? Some clear guidelines would help. Many Lemon Laws in the U.S. contain definitive numbers, like 30 cumulative days off the road due to repair or breakdown or 3 attempts to fix the same problem. George Iny of the Automobile Protection Association in Canada, while supporting the work that CAMVAP does, would like to see objective measures for consumers. He expresses concern that with the money ultimately coming from the auto makers, consumers don’t have the level playing field they do with other products; our existing laws imply warranties for defective goods, but the auto industry manages to skirt this unless threatened with the courts. CAMVAP is law-like (my italics), but the money is ultimately coming from one pot – the automakers it seeks to take on.

Still, for anyone who’s been unsuccessful in resolving their automotive issue, the CAMVAP website is a good place to start.

I don’t ride, though I cover motorcycle events. I’ve taken the training (I’m contemplating a second go at my test, if only to prove to myself I can pass it), and done rides with colleagues and friends. I’m an excellent passenger, I’m told. I just don’t have a burning desire -yet- to be a rider, something I believe is vital if you’re going to be a good, safe rider.

What I do have is respect for those I know who do ride. While the headlines will fill with the reckless actions of a few, the vast majority of riders simply want to share the road, enjoy their transportation choice, and get home safely. Like all of us.

The motorcycle course I took through Humber College a number of years ago provided me with some of the best training I’ve ever received. I’ve taken countless advanced driver training courses in cars, but the perspective from a bike is much different, with so much more at stake on the outcome. That awareness has carried over into how I drive and how I treat others on the road. The invincibility you have in a car evaporates when transferred to two wheels; you quickly become aware how vulnerable you are to the slightest error of either your own actions, or those around you.

Instructor Liz Jansen is more than a motorcycle rider; she’s an ambassador for the sport throughout North America, works with corporate clients, organizes rides and has written an excellent book, Women, Motorcycles and the Road to Empowerment, on the role that motorcycles have played in the lives of a fabulous cross section of different women. Meeting her, you’d never think ‘biker chick’. Ever. But her calm demeanor lends itself well to teaching others to be good riders, and to respect the laws of the road as well as the laws of physics. She’s been on a bike; she’s been under one.

I turned one of our usual conversations on its head recently. What would you tell drivers, I asked her, instead of just motorcyclists? What do you think motorists should know about the bikes they share the road with?

I’ve yet to see a discussion between motorcyclists and drivers that didn’t get heated at some point. Her responses were as welcome as they were thoughtful, acknowledging the wrong doings on both sides, often due to ignorance rather than malice.

Got a pack of riders ahead of you? Can’t get around? “Wise leaders of groups keep their packs manageable; like 8 motorcycles. If a driver can’t safely pass a whole group, fatalities occur when we have nowhere to go.” A long string of staggered riders is as dangerous to them as it is annoying to you. Smart ones don’t do it.

Some rogue riders are simply breaking the law. It’s illegal to ride with your high beam light on all the time; it’s illegal to lane split; it’s illegal to have those ear splitting pipes. We have the laws, we need the enforcement applied consistently.

Smart riders will be easily seen to a motorist by staying out of possible blind spots. “Riders are taught to ride in the inside tire track on a 2 way road” says Jansen, “because it’s easier to see them approaching. On a four lane road, we advise using the left tire track on the inside lane in most circumstances.”

Speaking of being seen, high visibility gear makes sense. You’ll also see many motorcyclists using hand signals as well as turn signals to draw the attention of motorists. Jansen notes that while it’s true bikes are easy to slow by gearing down, students are taught to tap their brakes so those around them know what they’re doing. This is a good tip for anyone using a manual transmission.

Riders are trying to keep a safe buffer zone ahead of them. That debris in the road that you can drive safely over can be deadly on a bike. They can also stop more quickly than a car, so don’t tailgate. Flipside, bikers who cut in and out of traffic and race down shoulders should remember they’re one angry driver away from bad news.

“Please be considerate of motorcyclists behind you. If you can avoid it, don’t pick that time to use your windshield washer. Never throw trash and cigarette butts out the window. Especially when a motorcyclist is behind you. Riders have had butts stuck in their helmet.”

If you see a motorcyclist zipping by in a T-shirt and flip-flops, you’re right to shake your head. Those same stones that can crack a windshield can equally get flung up into flesh. Smart riders will wear proper gear regardless of the weather, but that can mean a lot of heat in summer. Traffic jams are far more uncomfortable without the comfort of air-conditioning.

“Put your smart phones away. We have a bird’s eye view of what goes on in cars and it’s scary,” says Jansen. Actually, that’s good advice no matter what you’re piloting. She’s also the first to tell riders to make sure they have the right skills. “If you can’t keep up safely, don’t be out there.”

A little consideration on both sides goes a long way, and everybody gets home.

I’ve paid a few bucks in the Maritimes to cross bridges and passes, and I’m used to it getting into the U.S. at most crossover points. The 407 ETR (Express Toll Route) in the GTA, however, remains the shining Canadian example of a long range toll road.

I watched on the news the other day as a man pleaded with the company that the bills he was receiving couldn’t possibly be his: the personalized plates in question were still in the packaging in his home, a gift ordered for his daughter who’s never owned a car. An annoying charge to fight is one thing; but an unpaid bill with the 407 can result in plate denial come renewal time.

Kevin Sacks, vice president of communications for the 407, says incidents like these are extremely rare. I asked the best way for a customer to contest a charge, and he said it’s important to contact them right away. In the case of fraud, as those personalized plates, he says to report it to the police.

Hamilton lawyer David Thompson is currently helming a $25 million class action lawsuit against the corporation, claiming they are continuing to push those who have entered into bankruptcy into payment. “Plate denial is a powerful debt remedy used by the government in cases of non-releasable debts,” says Thompson. He acknowledges the 407s contention that they are an open access highway with no way to keep people off of it, and therefore need powerful debt collection. “But child support, student loans and fraud survive bankruptcy. To elevate the 407 to that level would mean that corporations like VISA should be lobbying to also survive bankruptcy.”

While a lower court ruled in favour of the 407 last year, Thompson will be back for the appeal next month on June 10th. Much rides on the outcome; case law is all over the place, according to Thompson, and this outcome will resonate beyond a toll road. Sacks declined to comment on the case, citing the upcoming trial.

I recently misplaced my transponder. That’s the little black box you affix to your windshield that is supposed to save you money by instantly charging your account instead of snapping a picture of your plate. That’s called a video toll. I pay a transponder lease amount, 3 bucks a month. I could pay annually, but I don’t.

They are explicit that you should never move your transponder from vehicle to vehicle. That’s all fine and dandy, but I’m usually in a different car every week that I don’t own; many people I know would prefer that their transponder was theirs to use as they wish. After all, I conservatively reckon I’ve been paying that lease fee for probably 7 years, which means that 25 cent piece of plastic has cost me over $250. I called them to request a replacement.

They dinged me $50. Even my equally Machiavellian cell phone company gives me a new phone every few years. Which reminds me: how come I can’t just use my smart phone like a transponder? Oh, wait. Because then they couldn’t charge me hundreds of dollars for a wee chunk of plastic, and then fifty more if I lose it.

I usually avoid taking the road, because it is indeed a choice. But with traffic in the GTA ranking in the very worst in North America (I know you’re sick of hearing that, but it’s true) there are times when even my first choice, to leave lots of extra time, is thwarted.

Toll talk is heating up, and it’s important to realize that this is everyone’s concern, not just drivers. You don’t have a car? You’re not too worried if they introduce tolls on other highways? That’ll work in your tally of daily outlay for getting around, but watch as everything you consume goes up, because almost everything gets to you in a truck that travels on those very highways.

It’s a knotted ball of problems containing transit, infrastructure, commuter times and taxes. There is no war on cars, but there does need to be a war on congestion. The fact it should have been tackled in city planning war rooms decades ago reminds you how unsexy a discussion it is. “Build more roads” is a silly answer; that’s up there with “bake a bigger pie”.

The very real concerns are chunks of the Gardiner Expressway falling down; of a sinkhole, coming soon to a neighbourhood near you; of a burgeoning population driving on roads that reached their peak capacity over a generation ago; of a failure to get individuals out of their cars because decent, viable transit options don’t exist.

On the side of every gas pump is a sticker indicating what percentage of the cost of fuel I’m paying goes towards infrastructure, transit, HOV lanes and anything classified as an eligible project under the Gas Tax Fund Agreement. Toronto “ will receive $1,024,698,448 from the GTF between 2005 and 2014”, which is a very big number, but nowhere near enough.

I believe toll roads are inevitable in the GTA. I hope the money raised will indicate a very clear line between what is collected and what is spent, because the crisis we’re in now leads me to believe every level of government has been buying beer with the broccoli money.

Just do me a favour: don’t model the process after the 407ETR.

Most of us know that answer to that. There is a time to stop wearing miniskirts just as there is a time to stop using the word “dude”. Most of us recognize that time, even if it might be a little belatedly in some cases.

So who thinks a 96 month car loan is a good idea? Everyone has heard someone say they have a 23-month-old child, and your brain tells you they have a two-year-old. Though that parent is striving to be precise, in the car industry that number fudging is being done for the opposite reason: to muffle the noise around the fact you just signed on to take 8 years to pay off your car.

It’s easy to blame banks or dealers, but it’s consumers who have created this. For as often as a buyer might be massaged into a car they can’t afford, that buyer allows himself or herself to be talked into buying a car a month at a time.

Before the implosion of the car industry, people who stood helplessly in a dealership unable to make the numbers work were introduced to leasing, once the domain of high end cars and business purchases. Don’t have $750 a month to purchase that car? No problem. Let’s lease and watch that number plummet. Honey, for only 28 bucks more a month, we can have the leather interior! Another 10, the kids can have their own video players! And at the end of the lease term, you hand back your rented car, and walk home.

Except you usually don’t. Leasing can be like a meth addiction: by the end of the lease, you realize your charges for mileage overages and “reasonable” wear and tear (was there ever a more subjective clause?) will swamp you, and the only way to ratchet them down is to roll over into a new transaction with the same dealer. Hooked. Your (car) dealer doesn’t want to lose a customer, and you realize just how easy it is to keep going.

My favourite argument, ever, on why leasing is magic goes like this: the money you save by leasing over buying goes into a separate account. At the end of the leasing term, you have a pot of gold to go buy another car. Except you didn’t have that margin of cash to begin with, which is why you are leasing. Hans Christian Andersen had nothing on a good salesman.

When the leasing industry effectively shuttered its doors for many outlets, there had to be a new go-to option for getting that payment lowered. Again, because so many stare only at that monthly amount, it wasn’t difficult to stretch the term to keep the customer. 48 months was a pretty stock term just a few short years ago. 4 years, at which point you owned your vehicle and could start deferring some funds for maintenance that would be required outside of warranty.

Now, in Canada the average term is 62 months. I heard a VW advertisement the other night for 84 months. I actually looked up at the TV. Then I did some counting. 7 years. It took very little digging to find out even that was child’s play: 96 months is being offered by some dealers and banks alike.

In a rush to make the most money off the biggest demographic, loans like these are eerily reminiscent of a time when people south of the border were being offered similar fabulous deals, but on their homes. What’s not attractive about being told there really is a way to have what you really, really want when you believed it was outside your reach? We all watched the U.S. mortgage market crumble, as houses plunged underwater. The most troubling part? Real estate historically has appreciated, or at least held its own, generally speaking. My Santa Fe sitting in the driveway, much as I like it, is not destined to be a collector’s item any time soon.

So how do you sign onto a loan you can afford? It’s easy to say just buy less car. But, just buy less car. People frequently head into a dealership with one type of car in mind, then quickly get lured into another part of the showroom, especially when they see it’s “only” this much more a month. Stick to your plan; most manufacturers are producing highly competitive cars in every segment, and don’t be nabbed by howdy doody add-ons you don’t really need.

Can’t find a new car in your price range? Go used. Cars are lasting long – anyone who talks about the good old days when it comes to cars has on rose coloured glasses. You can’t beat the safety features and technology in modern cars, even those a few years old. There is far more leeway in the cars available than there is in your budget.

Snoop past the icing on these deals, the zero percent financing and the no-money-down. Add up the total cost, take a hard look at the shiny asset that will only become a liability, and decide if you still want to be making payments when your third grader starts driving.

Sorry. I mean your 96-month-old

My friend Lou, a mechanic, continues.

“Moving my car 60 metres cost me $450.00”

It could have been even worse. I call them preying mantises, those idle tow trucks sitting by the highway. Anticipating your bad luck so they can swing a hook and capitalize on you at your most vulnerable. Even a small crash or vehicle breakdown is alarming for most of us. We drive thousands of kilometres for years and often never experience anything going wrong; turn the key and go. So when that is tersely interrupted, our coping skills hit a tailspin.

But not to worry; a totally unregulated industry of people now poised to take control of your compromised situation are never far from hand. Welcome to the Wild West: the tow truck industry in Ontario.

Are there any good guys out there? Absolutely there are. But when there is no need to play by the rules – because there essentially aren’t any – how long do you think it will take for the bad guys to run the town?

In a nutshell, anyone can be a tow truck driver. You, me, my recently G licenced kid. This is unfortunate, because I like to think anyone who can drive away with what is probably your second most expensive asset should be trained, professional and bondable. But rules? What rules? Every municipality has their own set of bylaw regulations, and none of them mesh. A tow operator licenced in Oakville may be expected to follow that city’s bylaws, but the second he’s over the boundary into, say, Mississauga, all bets are off. And your wallet is open.

A fee to hook the car; a fee to move it even a few metres, like out of a live lane of traffic. A fee to travel a distance; a fee to get it to an impound; a fee to get it to a shop; a fee to take it off the hook. Storage fees, administration fees, fees, fees, fees. And I need payment before I’ll unhook it, thankyouverymuch.

They’re so much nicer at the moment you meet. Maybe you’re sitting there, traffic whizzing by, when your white knight arrives. If you didn’t call for this truck yourself, you are probably about to get ripped off. You can ask how much, but remember, there are no provincial rules in place. He will solicitously offer to take your car to a place he guarantees can take care of it. His guarantee has most likely been bought for anywhere between 15-25% of the value of the repair, in cash. This is his buddy’s shop, after all. But not to worry; his buddy will simply inflate the bill so that your insurance company covers it.

If he’s really on the ball, he might even – surprise!- have a business card of a great lawyer handy. For you to get justice of course, from that insurance company. More bills are peeled off a wad at the lawyer’s office.  You want to know why our insurance rates have hit usurious levels? Follow the food chain from the crash to the payouts. With rogue towers, every step of the way there is money changing hands. Unregulated, unaccounted for, money.

Well, shouldn’t the police step in? I mean, they’re right there sometimes, right? The provincial police are not out trying to enforce local bylaws, and that is the only thing governing tow truck operators. They want that stalled or wrecked car out of the way as soon as possible, and while they’re quite good about letting you call the CAA to have the service performed, time is both money and safety and nobody can wait forever. Most police have a list of their own towing contacts, which is a layer of protection for the consumer but not enough.

A CAA membership is a hedge against this highway robbery. For a hundred bucks a year, you’ll get great service, including a specified amount of tows within a specified distance. Tow truck operators who are contracted by the CAA across the country give you a level of accountability not found with the preying mantises. The only catch? There may be a delay, as the CAA provides many services to its many members, and attending collision scenes isn’t its primary duty.

So what does the Insurance Bureau of Canada think of the towing issue? For Manager of Consumer and Industry Relations, Peter Karageorgos, the list is immediate.

“To start with, even those trucks just sitting there is a hazard. They’re a distraction and they cause collisions,” he says. How handy. I ask how the public, often traumatized or vulnerable when they need them the most, can protect themselves. The response is instant.

1. Never sign a blank work order.
2. Agree on a final cost of the tow before your vehicle is even hooked. Get it in writing. Some municipalities are leading the charge, with Vaughn already having forms to handle this.
3. Know where you want your vehicle towed to. While this might be difficult in some circumstances, give your routine a look, and ask yourself this question now. Familiarize yourself with possible dealers or shops that are on the beaten path for your daily trek.
4. If it’s safe and you can, call your insurance company. Many now have 24/7 phone assistance, and can help you with these questions.
5. Listen for red flags. What reputable company will only accept cash, often hundreds of dollars?

Willowdale MPP Liberal David Zimmer introduced Bill 147 in 2008 to change this industry. And again in 2010. Despite party support, it again stagnated.

Smarten up, Ontario. This isn’t Dodge, and we’re sick of getting robbed in broad daylight.

Buildings come and go, ostensibly to better suit the needs of many, but more often to fatten the coffers of a few.  The west end of Plains Road in Burlington – Aldershot -  used to house a long block of stores. The people living out there had the A&P, videos, a Zellers (once Towers department store), a liquor store, a restaurant, a licencing office and a bank. It was a service plaza, the parking lot a little ratty, and it never really recovered after the Burlington Mall was built in 1968, an event even I can remember as A Very Big Deal.

It’s all been gone for years now, because beneath that tired asphalt was property value begging to be exploited. The irony of course, is that they tore down all of this to put in various residential high-rises, and now all those people must drive to shop for things once sold right there.

In the east end of that parking lot was a Canadian Tire. It was small; I think it had a single service bay when I was a kid, though I could be wrong. There was a larger, far fancier Canadian Tire in the middle of town, one that kept growing and getting shinier by the year as it adapted to Burlington’s burgeoning population. Even so, it was the tiny one in the west end that was perfect for say, a father and his small daughter to go to buy a handful of screws or a particular drill bit. Unable to find the right size washer on the twist tie where he stored them like beads on a necklace, Dad and I would go to Canadian Tire. Today, of course, I buy packages at a time, to always have on hand. Because that is more efficient, because today we measure errand in terms of money and time, forgetting the value of excursion in other ways.

The AMC dealership was across the road, and though Dad only bought a new car every ten years, he would go to hang out, checking out advances in Ramblers but mostly to be around cars. I’d pester him for a nickel for the gumball machine by the door, and the salesman would usually give me one, as if there was ever a worry my father would buy a car anywhere else.

 If our current station wagon was up on the hoist for some dire malady, I knew we’d cross the street to go to the Canadian Tire. Mom would take us to the mall for shoes and winter coats; Dad was your guy to learn the difference between 3 kinds of screwdrivers, and yes, Robertson’s made more sense and did I know they were invented by a Canadian?

The Canadian Tire catalogue was a big deal in most households. We’d fight over it twice a year, whipping past pages and pages of tires to get to the seasonal stuff: games and toys at Christmas, but more importantly, flippers and air mattresses for the summer. Our tiny west end store had an even tinier section devoted to these goods, an alcove with a wooden floor, mashed full of a bit of everything. While my father was off deciding if he needed a new ball peen hammer, my sister and I would dream of getting a new inner tube that wasn’t an actual truck inner tube with the huge nozzle that stuck into our side if we jumped off the dock the wrong way.

We never got the multi-coloured pretty toys, because my father knew that truck inner tube was much sturdier. We got new flippers if there wasn’t already a pair at the cottage that would fit, because we learned our lesson the hard way when a guest lost one, gone forever down into the muck of the lake. Four decades later, I still know it’s down there, and I still remember the lecture on carelessness.

If the car was being serviced for something in between maintenance Dad performed himself and something that required some AMC expert, he’d let them handle it in the single bay at that tiny Canadian Tire. He knew the mechanics, and would hang around the garage like a mother keeping an eye on her newborn.

Job finished, you’d take your work order over to the narrow office. With an efficient twist, they’d roll your cash into the bill, tuck it into a cylinder and insert it into a magical tube where air suction would send it hurtling into outer space. I learned later it just went to the business office upstairs but outer space seemed much more interesting. Dad let me believe that, because even serious men can have moments of whimsy with children who can’t yet see over the counter.

The best part was when the tube came wooshing back, coins rattling in the plastic tube. The change and the receipt would tumble out, and Dad would hand me a nickel for the candy machine in the corner. I had no idea who the Kiwanis were, but they got a lot of my nickels in the late 1960s.