Contrary to what you might have thought, I never wanted to be a world class cyclist. As most of you know, I am not sporty in any way. None. I used to run track when I was little, and I was really fast, but then I had surgery on both of my feet and my running days were done. I was last picked; I played outfield; I have no dreaded phys ed horror stories from high school, because I didn’t take phys ed.
This actually gives me huge respect for those who do. Easy to yell from the sidelines, I’m truly impressed for those who can push their bodies and minds to make both stronger. I respect the power, and I’m in awe of it. I’ve dabbled in George Plimpton-lite scenarios (boxing, dancing) for stories, and each time came away with renewed admiration for what people who do this for real put themselves through. I think sporty thoughts, I just can’t do sporty things.
I watched Breaking Away the other night. If you haven’t seen it, it was a small, great movie about buddies who cycle. There’s a scene where one is training, drafting behind a big rig. The truck driver is giving him hand signals to let him know how fast they’re going. He pulls out to pass at several points, then tucks back in. It’s like the Tour de France, but just a trucker and a cyclist. It’s pretty cool, until a cop pulls the trucker over for speeding. It’s also at the heart of cycling, I’m guessing. I know, I know, nobody trains like that anymore. Nobody does anything outside a fricking laboratory anymore, it seems. They grow gymnasts in petri dishes and prune them like bonsais, they groom skaters from age 2, and skiers too. We used to call hockey a rich kid’s sport. Now they’re all rich kid sports.
Did I ever see Armstrong race? Bits and snips. I’m not a cycling aficionado (yes, I needed spellcheck for that and the title, as well), but the sheer power of cyclists is amazing. The specter of drugs has hung over the sport for years and years. Hell, it’s hung over every sport. It gets hard to think which ones we have to care about – professional? amateur? – and frankly, if you’re looking where to draw the line, you’re past needing it. I remember the baseball scandals. I also recall Pete Rose and the betting, and I recall corked bats (or something; don’t quote me). Ben Johnson made Canada proud for just shy of ten seconds. What sucks? That you can’t catch ‘em all. You can’t. And if you can’t, they all get slimed.
I was watching Canadian cyclist Curt Harnetton TV last night. And I was wondering what he thought, really, now. How many people have competed against cheaters, known it, and been unable to do anything? What happens when, like Armstrong, it takes years and years for the truth to finally come out? There are people defending Armstrong (not least of which is Armstrong himself). How? When his teammates and associates were telling the truth, he sued them. He threw them all under the wheels for years and years to save his own ass. And now, he takes it all back, and I think, “forget lying and cheating beside me on the playing field – how could you lie and cheat beside me off of it?” Lives have been destroyed by Lance Armstrong, and I am scratching my head at how you defend that.
I’ve always thought he was boring, frankly. Arrogant goes with the pro athlete thing, and I don’t care because you need that. But being boring is just a crime against nature. The other argument is that he’s raised so much money for cancer awareness. I agree that he’s raised a crapload of money, and that is wonderful. I hate that he had cancer as much as I hate that anyone has cancer. Cancer scares me. But he raised that money trading on the image of a great Olympian, a true sportsman, and an inspirational role model. Now what, Lance? Got anything else in there to soothe not your raging hurt ego, but the millions you let down?
I didn’t watch the Oprah interviews. I mean, how can you get hours out of “I did it”? But unfortunately, my Twitter feed kept me filled in if I glanced at it. It seems Armstrong answered the questions and admitted stuff, but was holding back the contrition everyone wanted. You know why? He’s saving something for Act Three. He thinks it will be called Redemption. I think it should be called Who Is Lance Armstrong?
You want to know a true cycling hero? My friend. Mandee Tatum. She mostly goes by her nickname, Surly, which tells you most of what you need to know. She lives in L.A. and I don’t see her as much as I’d like to, but this woman rocks. A few years ago she told us she was going to start cycling to raise money. We laughed and laughed (there is a group of women writers I’m friends with; none of us do many sporty things, unless you call complaining to each other over Skype as we drink wine sporty. I’ve often suggested we make it a sport). Mandee isn’t either, but I’ll be damned if she hasn’t done it. She rides and rides. She learned, she entered small races, and then more and more. She works her butt off at work, then cycles and runs and swims and enters bigger races. She is awesome. In 2 years, she’s raised $10,000. The teams she’s been on have raised $500,000. She went from the couch to the bike, and now wears Lycra. I never thought I would see Mandee wearing Lycra. Then again, she just renewed her wedding vows with hubby Dave in Las Vegas with Elvis officiating. See why she’s fun to have as a friend? Sponsor her, if you like.
I like my heroes human. I don’t think it’s right to tell our kids, “hey, you can be a great athlete, as long as you aren’t scared of needles!”. I don’t hate Lance Armstrong for doping; that makes him human, if weak. No, I hate that he cost so many other people their livelihoods as he stood fast to his lies.
Even he can’t out run this one.
I caved, and watched some of the highlights on Buzzfeed. You’re absolutely right- he ‘confessed’ but there was no emotion, no contrition. Instead (and I’ve barely seen any Armstrong interviews previously, only read what’s been quoted), he seemed like a world-class actor giving a D-list speech. And Oprah? I don’t know if she’s lost her touch, was rusty, or what, but there were so many answers Armstrong gave that she just didn’t follow up with hard-hitting questions.
I cycle, too, and it bugs the hell outta me that people like him are ruining it for the rest of us. I’ll probably certainly never get to a professional level but there’s a taint over the sport that can’t be escaped.
‘World class actor giving a D list speech’…have to tell a friend of mine this quote…it’s what he was trying to sum up today. He thinks Armstrong has a future in politics….
I think Oprah needed Armstrong as much as Armstrong needed Oprah. Too much need there to be useful to either party.
Actually, I can see a future in politics for him, too. He’s in control of his words and emotions almost to the point of sociopathy, he doesn’t fidget when questioned, and the most obvious: he masterminded the most sophisticated coverup in sports history. Black Sox ain’t got nothin’ on him, and there were nine of ‘em!
By the way, did you watch Betsy Andreu on Anderson Cooper? That was honest and emotional, and as complete a departure from Armstrong as one could get.
No high school phys-ed horror stories, but I know where you went before high school and how could any girl have even wanted to take phys-ed after two or more years of it with the gym teacher we had for grades 7 & 8?
I never hated a woman in all my life like I hated her and that class. Sitting there with her big hair and big everything else, in that short little body, muching on a Big Mac that she had sent some poor student down the street the get for her, while we ran the block around the school in our ridiculous navy blue uniforms with our names on the back. (because she couldn’t remember your name without it)
I was certianly not sporty, anything but, but I had never dreaded the gym like I did over those two years, and being told that I was too slow, not coordinated etc did nothing to help that. Being in the ‘browner’ class was enough torture, but adding her to the mix, just made me hate that school even more.
I never took a gym class in high school, I only saw the gym for assemblies.
I didn’t miss it, but I do wonder how differntly things may have been if we’d had someone who cared about us, rather than sitting on the young student teachers’ lap when he would dare to venture into the girls gym.
Can you say Cougar???
Sorry…got lost in my rant there….as for Lance, he’s just an ass. I watched a few minutes and couldn’t figure out why I would want to see any more. I did laundry instead.
I forsee the rise of a new sport , SUING LANCE ARMSTRONG , fun for everyone .
The lawyers will be all over him like hyenas on a rotting corpse .
What a smuck he is .
What really makes me sick to my stomach is thinking of all the people who should have won, fair and square with no doping. All the training, all the money, all the dreams, they should have been fulfilled. Imagine if you finished 4th in a race with this narcistic (did I spell that right? Lorraine please get spell check on your site) lying skank finishing first. Imagine now you think HOLY **** I would have been on the podium in 3rd place if he had been caught. He is a stealer of dreams which should have been realities.
Beth if you use the Google Chrome browser , it has a built in spell check . It’s the American spelling not the Canadian , but good enough .
Thanks Kerry. I will watch for that American spelling. I have nothing against our neighbours to the south but I cringe when Canadians use Americanisms, like a radio announcer here in Ottawa said “zee” instead of “zed” the other day (yes I called them and released the wrath of a proud Canadian). Lorraine, as a journalist, do you notice this happens a lot in Canada?
Armstrong is definitely a sociopath. He deserves whatever he gets. For someone to sue multiple people for telling the truth, and actively besmirching them in the press for years, he gets no sympathy from me.
And I get your admiration for people who push themselves to be good athletes. However I have a very hard time spending $200 per ticket to go watch someone like that do their thing, where they actually do their job properly 30% of the time and get paid more each year, than a teacher will make in their lifetime. It’s called a sport because it’s fun to do. Just because you can do it better than me doesn’t make you worth $10,000,000 a year. Meanwhile a teacher who is entrusted to forming the minds of our next generation would take over 100 years to make that amount.
Says the short, old, bald guy. Who, incidentally can still run the 100 meters in 12.88 seconds. If there’s a black rhino chasing me. With his 3 best friends.
Rotflmao ! Black rhinos ……
Beth, although I understand what your saying, I would guess that the fourth place finisher was cheating too. I heard that whomever won the last race, presumably clean, finished in a time that would have earned him 42nd before they started cleaning up the sport. The Tour de France is a 3479km race which Lance completed on a bike. Terry Fox ran 5373km on one leg…..and his foundation has raised more money for cancer. Sometimes true heros aren’t that hard to find.
Holy crap, 42nd place??? Terry Fox is one of the finest examples of a true hero I can think of.
Actually, I’m spending a few minutes trying to find the source of that ’42nd’ place. You have a link to something, April, because I don’t buy it…
No argument on TF.
Armstrong’s best ever TdeF finish was in 2002 where his time was 82h5m12s, 42nd place was 83h23min. The 2012 winner (Bradley Wiggins) had a time of 87h34m47s.
http://www.bikeraceinfo.com/tdf/tdfindex.html
I hear that there will be a new handicapping system put in place for the 2014 TdF. This will make everything much more equal and all this “Did he cheat?” nonsense will go away.
Finally.
I have an idea for the ultimate handicapping system for Lance. For all the times he cheated, you break his legs. I am sure there will be some definite handicapping there.
And here I thought we’d moved beyond lopping off limbs and carving out tongues and eyes as acceptable methods of meting out justice.
There has yet been a device made that can measure how little I care about Lance Armstrong.
Get him off my T.V.
….and while your’e at it, get Russel Oliver and Shelly Alexanian off my set too.
They are more annoying than a mosquito in a tent.
DJW
Haaaaaaaaaaa! Christer and I were just talking about this yesterday. He’s an excellent mimic – he does a Bonnie Brooks that is spot on. And we also go loopy with the iTravel (?) guy. PAY A PROFESSIONAL, PEOPLE! YOU ALL SOUND LIKE THE CARVEL ICE CREAM MAN!