I thought it was just me

But I don’t think so. It can’t be. Confession Number One: I haven’t had the speakers hooked up to my computer for months now. During the upheaval renos, it all just got so tangly that I didn’t bother. They’re sitting over there (points to a box in the dining room), but I still haven’t made a kid do it. So. My computer is silent. Confession Number Two: I prefer it this way.

I don’t watch videos on my computer. Well, expect for the cat ones, and, well, who doesn’t watch cat videos? They rarely need sound, because I can sit here and insert the mrows and purrs at the obvious moments. Or a cat can; there is usually one on my lap. The only time I like the sound is on Simon’s Cat videos. What? You aren’t familiar with Simon’s Cat? You haven’t lived. Here. I’ll wait, because by the time you get through all of them, it will be dinnertime. You don’t even really need audio for that, but I love the fact that’s it’s so obviously Simon making cat noises. Be quiet. I have a small life.

So. No speakers. I can listen to stuff on my iPad, which I do at night. But in the day, I’m so sick of video being embedded into things I want to read. I don’t mind an accompanying video, but I want the words, too. I know, I know, all the world is screaming for video. The only thing screaming in my kitchen is JoJo for food. (I said no, stop being greedyguts). I should make her watch this.

If something requires video, that is fine. Like how to make a messy bun in your hair. I found a great site for that. Still haven’t tried it. But I found it. I love the Internet. I imagine how frustrating it must be for people who have real jobs, in real offices. No, not that they don’t have messy buns, but if they click on something and all of a sudden everyone knows they’re watching Simon’s Cat. Frankly, I think that would be an excellent thing to share with your coworkers. When I worked with my sister Gilly years and years ago, the most we could do was yell, “get over here, I’m about to win at Freecell!”

The other reason I hate video downloads is because my sons lie to me. I’ll get warnings from our Internet boss telling us we’re near the limit, nearer the limit, at the limit, OVER THE LIMIT. These warnings are sometimes a few minutes apart. Yet when I tear all over demanding to know who is downloading so much, I get all these innocent little shrugs. They convince me that whatever it is they’re doing, they’re not the one using up gigathingees. They lie to me; I know this. They’ve even accused me of hitting the limit watching cat videos, though I know this can’t be true. The worst is when I’m on the road and get the warning emails. I instantly text everyone living in my house to quit downloading rightthisverysecond, and they all ignore me. Interesting thing about Internet companies: if you go a millisecond over you’re allottedness, they instantly bill you in increments of about 35 bucks. It’s horrid. But if their systems are down? DO YOU THINK THEY GIVE YOU A REFUND?

Well. They do if you call them and yell at them. So to everyone who had their Rogers out last night for hours and hours, I suggest you get yelling.