I’m outa here. Off to discover how the rich and richer do it, here. Get to drive a bunch of Porsches. I think it will be quite lovely.
I’m running around last minute, as usual, trying to cram 6 days worth of why-bother-I’ll-never-fit-in into a carry-on, inexplicably ironing things and then scrunching them into the case. You think I’d be better at this by now. You’d think.
I finally gave up on the list, and handed Christer and Pammy my card and said “you guys go do a top up shopping”. I also reminded them to check with Ari because he too, will be eating, and might like a say. I hand them cash as well (carefully separated), but sometimes, if I time it right, I can actually get them to cook a few nights while I’m gone. The ATM spat out 2 50s and 5 20s. I gave Ari the 20s, because if I give him the 50s, apparently, every time a bill or a pizza comes, he says “I don’t want to break the 50″ and Christer ends up using his money to pay. I love that. ‘His’ money. ‘Their’ money. Heh. Sigh.
The kids just got back with groceries. Ari hauled it in, peeking in the bags. I asked what they got.
“Acne juice,” he tells me, pulling out a thing of Coke.
I told Christopher I wasn’t going to bother putting a texting plan on my phone. Nobody ever answers me, and I end up sending 4 texts (one to each kid that says ‘I love youuuuuuu’, then a follow up telling them they’re evil little non-responding bastards), then just daily to Pammy who promptly answers me, usually with a picture of Maggie sitting at my computer missing me. Pammy is gold.
But that means 40 texts go unused. It seems wasteful. It seems silly. It seems I do it every.time.I.go. And it never changes. So, I just put a plan on, because the one time I don’t…For a change, I’ll be heading back to the U.S. to Anchorage before the month is up – they usually expire. The texts. Not the kids.
Maggie is eyeballing my open suitcase. She is not pleased. Last time I was away, she racked up 500 bucks in vet bills. The kids now refer to this as the time Maggie faked her own death to get even at me for leaving her.
It’s almost worth 500 bucks to have somebody miss me.
Though I think JoJo does it for free.
*Edit: I just asked JoJo if she was going to miss her Mommy. She said “Mommy who?. And Ari is upstairs eating the junk food Christer bought. He laughed on his way up the stairs and said “you’re not even gone yet!”