“A non fiction account of an American crime”. Or not

We blame stunning errors in oversight and fact-checking on newsrooms that have been hacked to the bone. This piece proves it’s nothing new; Truman Capote, trying to follow up his In Cold Blood home-run, published a piece of fiction he called a true story, and nobody blinked an eye. Until now.

Fascinating read.

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Not even kind of funny, Mom

The cold water pipe under my kitchen sink froze for the first time a few days ago. Roz has been helpful; she deals with this all time, so she now calls me with temperature warnings. I had to spend a few hours with a small heater facing the pipes, and the cupboard doors open. It didn’t take long, but of course, now they’ve done it once, I’ll be worried they’ll do it all the time. Last night before I went to bed, I carefully propped open the cupboard doors as a precaution. I came down an hour later, and saw them carefully closed. I opened them again. I came down this morning to find them again closed. My kids choose now to tidy up.

Roz told me I could leave a heater going if Christer was going to be up. Instead, I proposed locking Pea and JoJo in the cupboard. I told her between their body heat and bad breath, maybe the pipes wouldn’t freeze. She laughed. I told Pea and Jojo what I was thinking of doing. This was their reaction:

pea and jojo

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Thelma and Lorraine

Great piece on the making of Thelma and Louise, which I now want to watch again. And so I will.

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You know it’s cold when…

Took a 2015 Mustang GT to Niagara Falls today. Car is awesome; Falls pretty amazing, too.niagara falls

The car is orange.

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I can’t stop crying

He put his little boots on.

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A title should go here

Elsewhere on this site, one of my sisters copped to being “a little OCD” amongst other things. That’s it: open season. I read a thing I meant to send her that said she was really CDO, because that would put those letters in the right order. Her husband calls her 1234. If you have anyone in your life who is a little OCD, I guarantee you are laughing right now and will call them 1234 the next time you see them.

I haven’t been blogging; auto show was last week, and the prep and execution are a little crazy. Also been working on a project in an entirely different realm, and I have to come up with a name for it. Now, back in my old life, I could sit at a table and fling out 20 names/ideas/titles in a few minutes. Then do it again. You then sorted through them, changed this for that, and zippo wham-o, you had some choices. This time I admit to being stumped, and I’m walking around in a foggy thought bubble, randomly spewing out ideas and near-ideas. I’m making everyone nuts. This has been going on for weeks. Maybe I should call up Little Miss 1234 and ask her for advice. Speaking of zippo, wham-o, I have, of late, been seeing Batman sound bubbles as I talk to people. Don’t suggest medical intervention: I love it.

I read a piece in New York Magazine about why men think women are always flirting with them. Actually, they must have released some study because the same topic popped all over the place. They take great pains to tell you that it’s all due to hardwiring; men don’t want to miss up any chance – any – to procreate and spread their seed, so they see sexual encouragement in “hi”. Women apparently don’t want to chase off any possible good spermiscists, so we infuse our every word, including “hi” with the impact of a dry martini, a come hither look and a pushup bra. I think we should all just wear giant mood rings around our necks that shout out things like, “possibly” or “married but a scumbag” or “you’re out of my league and we both know it stop giving me false hope” or “maybe if you invest in a pair of decent shoes” or “Dad, that’s just creepy”. Seriously on that last one: there have been a couple of articles lately on normal sites about women sleeping with their fathers oh my god I can’t even, as the kids say. I’m not linking them. You can find them yourownself.

I’m driving a crazy hot orange 2015 Mustang GT this week. It’s a V8 6 speed, much show and definitely much go. The fun part? Someone pulls up beside me at a light, and you can see their face fall when they see someone’s mother driving it.

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Happy Valentine’s Day

cat walking away from fire

No reason. I just love it.

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Just when I think I couldn’t love Tommy Lee Jones even more

I watch something like The Homesman. What an amazing movie. He stars in it with Hilary Swank (she really is a stellar talent), but he also directed and co-wrote the screenplay. It’s set about a decade before the Civil War. You know how much power Jones has? Watch who opens the door near the end – when have you ever seen Meryl Streep get 17th billing on a cast? This one. And yes, that young girl is her daughter, Grace Gummer. James Spader shows up for a handful of brilliance, and if that darling waitress with a couple of on screen minutes looks familiar, it’s Hailee Steinfeld from True Grit. John Lithgow, Tim Blake Nelson, Jesse Plemmons and what would this be without Barry Corbin? This movie is spectacular. Period. The statement on the treatment of women that Jones’ makes is so raw, it’s hard to watch. But damn, if that man doesn’t just continue to be so, so impressive.

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Lorraine keeps up with pop culture

Did you know that Katy Perry and Taylor Swift hate each other? I didn’t know this until headlines in way too many papers kept telling me. I don’t watch the Grammys (shouldn’t it be Grammies?) but apparently I’m told that because one of them tried to steal the other’s background dancers right behind her back they are now feuding. Part of me can understand that; I caught some of the half-time show on the football game and Katy Perry kinda doesn’t dance, she just bops around a little, and I’ve seen Taylor Swift and she mostly stands there, sometimes leaning in time to the music, but doing little prancy things that aren’t dancing. So, I doubt either one of them is much of a dancer and hence requires a band of people to swirl around them at all times. I’m guessing that whomever did the stealing (I’m not entirely clear on that) owes somebody an apology, though really, aren’t there like a bazillion dancers available?

I’ve read that Kim Kardashian has a new step-mother. On an unrelated note, I’ve read that Bruce Jenner rear-ended a woman (in his car) and she died and cops want his cell phone. I wasn’t there, I didn’t see it, but I think it’s incredibly trashy that the headlines are telling me “Bruce Jenner escapes injury” when a woman DIED. What is wrong with you people?

It seems like just yesterday that Melanie Griffiths and Don Johnson had a kid, but now she’s grown up and starring in a mess called Fifty Shades of Grey. Ew. My reading reveals she doesn’t want her parents to see it because she’s fifty shades of nekkid, and being tied up and down. I think someone should remind the girl when her parents started dating Mom was 14 and Dad was 22. Sorry, kid, that’s grosser than any movie.

Okay, I can’t read any more of this crap. Here is an excellent pieceon Sudan. Really. I could read writing like this all damned day.

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If I’m not on Facebook with you, this will seem new*

Facebook does stupid things all the time, but this one was fun. A friend told me to post 18 things people don’t know about me. As someone who writes about her entire frickin’ life twice a week for the past 11 years, that was harder for me than some. I even got Roz on one, number 12. “You didn’t tell me someone ran over Mom and Dad.”

1. I love Dolly Parton
2. When I was 7, I would paint pictures on rocks and sell them to my neighbours. As an artist, I make a good writer.
3. I don’t like flowers (unless they’re still growing in the ground) or jewellery.
4. I had my degree when I was 20. I almost had two, but I dropped out of a Sociology degree because a stats course was a requirement. Me ≠ math.
5. I’ve already shrunk half an inch in height, which bothers me immensely.
6. I used to be a seamstress. I designed and made clothes under my own label, Rainewear.
7. I can do a perfect cartwheel. I remain dizzy for an hour afterwards, but I can do it.
8. I had surgery on both feet as a kid, and couldn’t take gym after grade 6.
9. I cry at least once a day.
10. I read Lonesome Dove once a year. Call and McCrae, best characters ever written.
11. When I got fired from the first job I had after my divorce – answering phones and invoicing at a carpet cleaning place – I was terrified I’d never be able to support my kids.
12. The tree we planted with my parents’ ashes at the cottage got run over by some trespassing snowmobile. It’s pretty much dead and I feel guilty, and then I realize they’d probably laugh.
13. I had to fight to be the first girl to take shop in high school in our region. I took wood shop for three years; they wouldn’t let me take auto. Idiots.
14. My life plan was always to be a lawyer. An unmarried, childfree lawyer who could work a table saw.
15. I’m not a very good mom.
16. I’ve never read Harry Potter or any of that vampire crap. I hate the fantasy genre. Now, westerns…
17. I’m very loyal, and a vault with secrets. That combined with my table saw skills makes me the ultimate go-to friend to help you dispose of a body.
18. My dream is to live in a place on a lake by myself with a couple of cats. My sister says I have to have a dog so if I die, someone will know. I think it would just eat my face.

* Too busy to write a real blog, so recycling. Recycling is a thing.

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