While I’ve spent years worrying about Nigerian scams shaking me down for my hard earned money, I never realized that Scotland Yard – YES, THAT SCOTLAND YARD – is on the case. The scammers always tell you you’ve won a bunch of money, or your prince has left you his fortune in his will, or a recent widow is desperate for your help in spiriting her vast inheritance out of the country. I must admit, I’ve been tempted. I mean, these people seem so nice, and all they need is for me to send them a bunch of money and then, I’ll have a bunch more money! That’s how you grow your fortune, right? Who needs the uncertainty of the stock market?
I just got this email, though, from Scotland Yard. They are looking out for me, even though I’m not even Scottish. That’s very nice of them. And, note it came directly from Commissioner Bernard Hogan-Howe. That is a very, very not-Nigerian name. This is what they said:
My name is Bernard Hogan-Howe, the Commissioner of Police, New Scotland Yard Police, I wish to inform you that after we have gone through your payment record, we found out that you have been struggling and spending money to receive your fund from many banks, but no avail, now we have use the power invested in us, to request for your payment file, which they have finally submitted it to us for immediate action on your payment.
Note, you are advice to respond back to this office immediately you receive this message, for more action on the release of your fund, to you via any payment method of your choice, we give you grace of 48hours to respond back to us, in order to advise you on the next step.
Yours Truly .
Commissioner of Police
New Scotland Yard Police Headquarters
Gotta love a scammer who already presumes you’ve been scammed….